London Evening Papers

I read an article the other week about the etiquette of flying. Was it rude to read the person to whom you have sat next to's paper, book, hand-held console, laptop or video ipod? Being one lacking in etiquette I thought, surely this is ok? i mean as long as you are able to do it in the most clandestine of ways, with shifty eye movements to capture snippets of what they are looking at then well why not?

Well last night whilst travelling home I was reading one of the many evening free papers that seem to be popping up in London. the girl sitting next to me became what i can only describe as engrossed in the pages that I was reading, she even developed a slight lean toward me in an effort so as not to strain her neck.

I started to become rather annoyed, I could feel it welling up in the pit of my stomach - the insolence! i tried to counter this in my head with the reasoning that I too had done much the same thing whilst at the Old Vic last Saturday, reading the paper over the shoulder of the person in front who was reading a review of some musical one of the contestants of "there's something about maria" had bagged (not Connie, the tomboyish one.)

So this must have been a lesson for me and I have to say I agree with the author of the inflight article, just don't do it, regardless of how innate you feel your ability to pry is.

She changed her tune

Now that everyone is wrapping up that bit warmer for the clement period of weather we are descending into, there just seems to be that little bit less space on the tube. As I stood in the aisle, between the rows of seating a woman removed her backpack to make room for others, placing it at her feet.

She too was standing in the aisle and as she bent over to place her backpack on the floor, her backside did perhaps invade, only ever so slightly, the sanctuary one of the seated passangers had created with her broadsheet. I watched as the smuggly sitting female shook her head with dissaproval and thought - you bitch (with badly stripey highlighted/lowlighted hair)

A few stops later, in the very same aisle, a lady standing next to me was asked by a French lady to move further down the aisle. She did. Another stop or so later the French lady asked her to do the same again but she exploded! "Where to?" she spat. "I have a bag, there is no room!" I understood where she was coming from but perhaps her outburst was a tad over the top. It was a bit like a scene from Crash, but transplanted to the tube, Brit-Asian rucks with French woman. In good British taste, everyone managed to pretend the incident wasn't happening.

So back to lady smug. Following this outburst the backpack lady rearranged herself in the aisle and said backpack happened to nestle on the feet of broadsheet reading lady smug. She politely asked her to move the backpack slightly and when backpack lady apologised emphatically, lady smug became lady cordial and was beamingly accommodating.

London-Underground

Believe it or not I've been thinking about my new pet project, centrallinetales, for a wee while now and of course arrogantly thinking that this was a unique idea. Now that I've finally got it up and running I have done a little google to see if there is anything else like it out there. Well what do you know, there bloody well is!

check out http://london-underground.blogspot.com There is some particularly nifty camera action going on - of which I am utterly jealous - AND its won loads of awards.

Just as Burger King managed to make a name for itself on the highstreet even after MacDonalds had paved the way, I am sure there is room in the blogosphere for centrallinetales and london-underground. I am not ashamed to say I will be taking inspiration from London-Underground and will be taking many an unsolicited photo with my phone!

Goodwill gestures

Part of me thinks that Monday morning central line chaos distracts from the awful monday morning mallady that I have been suffering from recently at the thought of having to go to work. This morning, it compounded my Monday morning sickness.

Having worked for a large mobile operator who recieved a few complaints in relation to poor delivery of and customer service I did wonder if in the same vein I could complain at the poor service I've been recieving from the central line lately? Could I get compensation for the lack of service I pay for with my weekly travel pass as well as a goodwill gesture for the frustration caused?

Wide-on

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Frotage on the line

Have no idea what is going on with the Central Line. Whilst everyone moans the the tube never works, by and large it is pretty reliable but the last couple of weeks! Man, I've had to resort to using the district line at times to get home in a very roundabout fashion.

Smooth runnings this morning although myself and my colleague have been discussing whether or not men are practising the secret art of frotage on the tube. For those of you who don't know what frotage is, its kind of a man, actually so not to be sexist, or a women rubbing against you in a sexual way but in such a way that you are not sure if they are or not. Apparently you can buy books on it in Japan where it is well practised (this information I have gleaned second, third or fourth hand so I could be wrong so if I am, sorry if I have caused offense.)

I've only had one man try to practice the art of frotage on myself, he was clearly a beginner, an apprentice in search of a master. This event actually happened whilst waiting in line to update my oyster card at Shepherd's Bush tube station. The man, was perhaps around 14 times over the legal alcohol limit. As he swayed towards the queue, pretending to want to get through, as I stepped back to give him room his arm fell to his side and he slid it across my crotch. Luckily, his drunken stooper mean't his actions were in slow motion so whilst contact was made I managed a ninja style phwack of the offending hand.

So, if you were the man who was possibly touching his own crotch in the face of my colleague this morning, it was noted.

Filthy Gorgeous

Ok, first posting, still not happy with the way me blog is looking but I'm viewing this as a work in progress. Anyway, last night I left work pretty late, on my way to catch up with an oooooold school friend in Holland Park. Think it was at Tottenham Court road probably one of the most strikingly beautiful boys I have seen in a long, long time got on to the tube. I had to concentrate pretty darn hard not to stare and used the good old looking at the reflection technique to check him ooowt!

Anyway, being of a certain age and demographic, I recognised him as one of the contestants of the first 'make me a supermodel' programmes and I think he's featured in the current River Island clothing campaign. He was wearing filthy boots, but he was well gorgeous.